sharedstorycollective.org

1 in 3 women experience
sexual harassment at work.

Whether you've experienced it, you're supporting someone who has, or it's your responsibility to respond — you're in the right place.

A place to make sense of what happened. A place to discover your options.

One story.
Many versions.

Workplace sexual harassment is more common in Aotearoa New Zealand than many people realise. For some, it's a single moment they can clearly name. For others, it's a slow erosion of safety, confidence, or trust over time.

In connecting with others I've learned we stay silent because of shame, self-doubt, fear of consequences, power imbalances, or uncertainty about whether what happened was "serious enough."

It's a mind fuck to make sense of what happened while maintaining all your life responsibilities. The fear of retaliation or negative consequences for saying anything is real.

I also know how much workplace responses matter. When people are dismissed, pressured to stay quiet, isolated, or pushed through processes they don't understand or control, the harm can deepen. What began as a harmful experience can become compounded trauma.

At the same time, I don't believe there's one "right" way to respond. Some people want support in understanding what happened. Some want others protected, accountability, clarity, documentation, connection, or simply to know they are not alone.

I created Shared Story Collective to help people make sense of their experiences, have conversations, understand their options, and reconnect with their own agency. Knowledge is power.

Because people deserve more than silence, confusion, and isolation.
They deserve support, clarity, and choice.

— Ally Naylor, Napier, Aotearoa New Zealand

Whether you're trying to name what happened, support someone you care about, or build a safer workplace — this site has a path for you. Here's what's inside and who it's for.

If you've experienced it

For individuals

Whether it happened recently or years ago — you deserve to understand what occurred, what the law says, and what your options are. You don't have to figure this out alone.

If you're supporting someone

For supporters

You don't need to have all the answers. Understanding what happened, what the law says, and what options exist is the best place to start.

If it's your responsibility

For organisations

Every disclosure requires a structured response. If you're in HR, management, or on a board — this is your guide to responding correctly, legally, and humanely.

Workplace Sexual Harassment & Assault

Sexual harassment and assault exist on a spectrum. This framework names each level clearly so that people can navigate what is happening to them, and understand what law may be applicable. By definition in the Crimes Act 1961, S128A — a person consents to sexual activity only if they consent freely and voluntarily. A failure to resist does not constitute consent.

1

Inappropriate Behaviour

Human Rights Act 1993 · Employment Relations Act 2000

Ambient & environmental

Workplace culture that normalises sexism through jokes, banter, imagery, or language. Often dismissed as harmless but establishes conditions for escalation.

Verbal harassment

Unwanted comments about body, appearance, gender, or sexuality — including remarks framed as compliments. Repeated remarks escalate severity and legal exposure.

Digital & written harassment

Unwanted sexual or suggestive messages or images sent via digital channels. Leaves a traceable record and extends harassment beyond the physical workplace.

2

Harassment

Human Rights Act 1993 · Employment Relations Act 2000

Coercive behaviour & misuse of power

Using seniority or authority to create conditions where someone feels unable to refuse sexual attention — even if they went along with it or stayed silent. If a reasonable person would have felt unable to refuse, it is harassment under NZ law.

Stalking & persistent unwanted attention

Repeated unwanted contact, following, or monitoring across workplace and personal life. Causes fear and psychological harm even without physical contact.

3

Unwanted Physical Contact

Health & Safety at Work Act 2015 · Human Rights Act 1993

Unwanted physical contact

Uninvited touching sexualised in intent or context — hair, shoulders, waist, face, or kissing. Often framed as accidental to create deniability. You do not need to have objected at the time for it to be unwanted. Triggers formal investigation and immediate separation under HASWA 2015.

4

Sexual Assault — Criminal Offences

Crimes Act 1961 · Summary Offences Act 1981 · Reportable to NZ Police

Criminal offences

Indecent assault — Crimes Act 1961

Unwanted touching of intimate body parts including over clothing. A criminal offence regardless of what was worn, whether alcohol was involved, or whether the person froze rather than resisted.

Indecent exposure

Exposing genitalia or performing sexual acts without consent.

Sexual violation — Crimes Act 1961 s128

Any penetration without free consent. Includes situations where the person was asleep, unconscious, intoxicated, or unable to say no due to fear or power dynamics. There is no time limit for reporting to NZ Police.

Aggravated sexual violence

Sexual assault with aggravating factors including force, weapons, threats, or targeting a vulnerable person.

Behaviours at any level may constitute grounds for a personal grievance (ERA 2000) or Human Rights Commission complaint. Zone 4 behaviours are reportable to NZ Police. Confirm legal definitions with a qualified NZ lawyer.

A bit of practical advice

At the very least — write it down.

📓

If something happens to you

Write it down. In a diary, in a note on your phone, in an email to yourself, whatever works. Include the date, what happened, who was there, and how it made you feel. Tell someone you trust.

You don't need to decide what to do with it right now. But your future self will be grateful you did, if you ever choose to take it further, a contemporaneous record is one of the most powerful things you can have.

🤝

If someone tells you something

Write that down too. Email it to yourself on the same day: the date, what they told you, their words as best you can recall them.

You never know when that person might need your corroboration. Being a witness matters. Your record of that conversation could make a real difference to someone else's ability to be believed.

Your Rights & Reporting Options

When you disclose, your organisation has clear obligations. They must protect you, maintain your confidentiality, and ensure there is no retaliation. If any of those things are not done — you have independent options that exist entirely outside your employer.

These channels can be accessed at any time, with or without a formal internal complaint. You do not need your employer's permission to use any of them.

Your organisation is legally obligated to

🛡️

Protect you

Take your disclosure seriously and act on it. Separate you from the alleged person. Ensure your safety at work.

🔒

Keep you confidential

Your disclosure must not be shared beyond those who need to know. Your privacy must be protected throughout.

⚖️

Prevent retaliation

You must not be disadvantaged, demoted, dismissed, isolated, or have your conditions changed as a result of disclosing.

If your organisation fails on any of these — the options below exist independently of them.

01

Zone 4 criminal offences

NZ Police

For Zone 4 criminal offences you have the right to report directly to NZ Police at any time. There is no time limit for reporting sexual violation. You can request a sexual violence specialist.

Learn more →

02

All zones · Human Rights Act 1993

Human Rights Commission

Free and confidential. Handles sexual harassment complaints in employment. The Commission will attempt mediation first. Complaints should generally be made within 12 months.

Make a complaint →

03

All zones · Employment Relations Act 2000

Employment Relations Authority

Raise a personal grievance with your employer within 90 days. If unresolved, apply to the ERA. Remedies can include compensation, reinstatement, and reimbursement of lost wages.

Personal grievance guide →

04

Zone 3 & above · HASWA 2015

WorkSafe NZ

Every employer has a duty to protect workers from harassment and assault. WorkSafe can investigate failures and issue notices or prosecute. You can make a confidential notification.

Notify a concern →

05

Protection from retaliation

Whistleblower Protection

If you've reported and your employer has retaliated — the Protected Disclosures Act 2022 may protect you. Keep a record of any changes to your employment conditions following disclosure.

Protected disclosures guide →

06

All zones · No Police complaint required

ACC Sensitive Claims

ACC covers funded counselling for survivors of sexual violence — regardless of whether you have made a Police complaint. No time limit. Completely confidential from your employer.

ACC sensitive claims →

This resource is for general information only. Legal definitions and eligibility criteria vary — if you are considering any of these pathways, seek independent advice from an employment lawyer or contact the relevant organisation directly.

Disclosure Response Pathway

A guide for HR professionals, managers, and board members — setting out how an organisation must respond when an employee discloses sexual harassment or assault. Every disclosure requires a structured response.

Trigger — any mention requires action

Any mention by an employee that they feel uncomfortable, are receiving unwanted attention, or have experienced concerning behaviour — whether raised in a meeting, in passing, or in writing — must be treated as a disclosure requiring action. Arrange a private, neutral space to speak with the employee as soon as possible. Same day where possible. Not the manager's office if the manager may be implicated.

1

Identify the level of behaviour

Show the employee the Harassment and Assault Spectrum and ask them to identify the behaviour(s) they have experienced. The level identified determines the urgency, pathway, and rights that apply.

  • There is no pressure on the employee to categorise their experience precisely
  • HR records what is shared without editorialising or minimising
  • An employee may identify behaviours across multiple levels — record all of them
  • Freezing, going along with something, or staying silent does not mean consent
  • Do not ask questions that imply doubt — "are you sure?", "could it have been a misunderstanding?" are not appropriate
  • If the employee becomes distressed, pause, offer water, and allow silence — do not rush them

Language to use

"I believe you." · "Thank you for telling me." · "You don't need to have all the details right now." · "We will handle this carefully."

Language to avoid

"Are you sure that's what happened?" · "They didn't mean it that way." · "This could affect your working relationship." · "Have you tried talking to them directly?"

Provide a written summary to the employee on the day or within one working day

2

Identify the rank of the alleged person

The position of the alleged person relative to the employee determines who leads the response and what escalation is required. This step must happen before any conversation with the alleged person.

  • Peer / same level — Standard HR process. Line manager and HR lead involved. If the line manager is a witness or connected to the alleged person, escalate
  • Senior leader / direct manager — Escalate outside direct reporting line immediately. HR Director leads. The employee's line manager is excluded from the process entirely
  • Executive / CEO line — Board Chair notified within 24 hours. CEO excluded from the process entirely. An external independent investigator must be appointed — internal HR cannot investigate upward
  • Board member — External legal counsel appointed immediately. Full board notified excluding the alleged member

What good looks like

The moment a senior person is implicated, power is removed from internal channels. The employee never has to navigate a process controlled by someone connected to the person who harmed them.

What poor looks like

The employee's complaint is handled by someone who reports to, socialises with, or is friends with the alleged person. The process is compromised before it begins.

3

Explain the employee's rights

Before any next steps are discussed or decisions made, the employee must be clearly informed of their rights — in plain language, not legal language. Provide this in writing as well as verbally. The employee does not need to decide anything immediately.

  • Right to have a support person present at all meetings — a friend, union rep, or advocate of their choosing
  • Right to confidentiality — disclosure will not be shared beyond those who need to know, and never with the alleged person's allies or supporters
  • Right not to be disadvantaged in employment as a result of disclosing — this includes being moved, managed out, excluded from meetings, or having their role changed
  • Right to choose whether to make a formal complaint, have the matter noted informally, or take time before deciding
  • Right to withdraw or pause the process at any time without consequence
  • Right to access independent reporting pathways regardless of the internal process
  • Right to take paid leave to manage the impact of the disclosure and any investigation
  • Zone 4: Must be explicitly told this is a criminal offence and that reporting to NZ Police is their right at any time, independently of anything the organisation does

What good looks like

The employee leaves the first meeting with a written summary of their rights, clear next steps, a named contact person, and a date for the next check-in. They feel informed, not overwhelmed.

What poor looks like

The employee is told "we'll look into it" with no timeline, no written confirmation, no named contact, and no explanation of what happens next. They leave feeling more alone than before they disclosed.

4

Response pathway by zone

Where behaviour spans multiple zones, the highest zone always applies. Speed matters — delays communicate that the organisation does not take the disclosure seriously.

  • Zone 1 — Documented conversation with alleged person within 5 working days. Clear statement that the behaviour is unacceptable and will not continue. Education referral or formal written warning depending on severity. Monitoring period of at least 3 months established with named HR contact
  • Zone 2 — Written complaint formally recorded within 24 hours. Independent investigation commenced within 5 working days. Physical or reporting separation of employee and alleged person arranged immediately if requested or if ongoing contact poses risk. Investigation timeline communicated in writing to the employee
  • Zone 3 — Alleged person stood down on full pay same day, no exceptions (mandatory HASWA 2015 duty of care). HR Director and employment legal counsel engaged within 24 hours. Employee offered paid leave and access to an EAP counsellor same day. Investigation led by an external party
  • Zone 4 — Alleged person removed from workplace immediately, no exceptions. Employee offered specialist sexual violence support (not standard EAP) same day. Board or Chair notified if executive involved. Employee explicitly informed of right to report to NZ Police. Organisation does not conduct its own investigation until after any Police process is complete

A note on standing down

Standing down is not a finding of guilt. It is a protective measure. Framing it as such to the alleged person is both accurate and legally sound. The employee who disclosed must never be the one who moves or loses access — the burden must fall on the alleged person.

5

Document, follow up, and close the loop

The investigation outcome is not the end of the organisation's obligations. How an organisation behaves after a disclosure is often what determines whether the employee stays, recovers, or leaves — and whether others feel safe to come forward in future.

  • Written record of the disclosure and all actions taken maintained in a secure HR file — never in the employee's general personnel file
  • HR lead checks in with the employee at minimum fortnightly for 3 months following disclosure — not to report on the investigation, but to ask how they are
  • Employee informed of the outcome to the extent permitted by law and privacy obligations — do not leave them guessing
  • If the alleged person returns to the workplace, the employee is informed before this happens and a safety plan is in place
  • If the disclosure indicates a systemic issue — multiple complaints, a pattern, or a cultural problem — policies and leadership must be reviewed within 30 days
  • Employee's employment conditions actively monitored for at least 6 months to ensure no disadvantage has occurred
  • Exit interview conducted if the employee leaves within 12 months of a disclosure — and the responses acted on, not filed away

What good looks like

The employee feels seen, heard, and protected throughout. The outcome — whatever it is — is communicated clearly. They don't have to wonder what happened. The organisation's culture is measurably better because of how this was handled.

What poor looks like

The investigation concludes. The employee hears nothing. The alleged person returns quietly. The employee's role is subtly restructured. Within six months, the employee who disclosed has left. The pattern continues.

This pathway is a working resource. Legal definitions and obligations should be confirmed with a qualified NZ employment lawyer before adoption as organisational policy. Developed by Ally Naylor, Napier, New Zealand.

You are not alone.

Stories shared anonymously, in people's own words. A different version of the same story.

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Built from lived experience.
About this platform.

I created Shared Story Collective after going through my own harrowing experience with workplace sexual harassment and assault. I spoke up for two reasons: I was becoming a stepmother to two beautiful girls and didn't want them to experience anything I had. And at the same time I was leaving Xero and saw a pattern of behaviour persisting. So I whistleblew because I thought the Board were the only ones with the power to do something.

Upon reflection, the way my disclosure was handled has been just as harmful. It's taken years of therapy and healing to realise the shame was not mine, and that the systems and people let me down.

I hope you leave this site feeling more informed and more empowered.

Visit allynaylor.com →

"People deserve more than silence, confusion, and isolation. They deserve support, clarity, and choice. That's why this exists."

— Ally Naylor

You don't have to navigate this alone

Whether you have a question, want to share your story privately, have feedback on this resource, or simply want to connect — reach out. Every message is read by Ally personally.