sharedstorycollective.org
Whether you've experienced it, you're supporting someone who has, or it's your responsibility to respond — you're in the right place.
A place to make sense of what happened. A place to discover your options.
Why this exists
Workplace sexual harassment is more common in Aotearoa New Zealand than many people realise. For some, it's a single moment they can clearly name. For others, it's a slow erosion of safety, confidence, or trust over time.
In connecting with others I've learned we stay silent because of shame, self-doubt, fear of consequences, power imbalances, or uncertainty about whether what happened was "serious enough."
It's a mind fuck to make sense of what happened while maintaining all your life responsibilities. The fear of retaliation or negative consequences for saying anything is real.
I also know how much workplace responses matter. When people are dismissed, pressured to stay quiet, isolated, or pushed through processes they don't understand or control, the harm can deepen. What began as a harmful experience can become compounded trauma.
At the same time, I don't believe there's one "right" way to respond. Some people want support in understanding what happened. Some want others protected, accountability, clarity, documentation, connection, or simply to know they are not alone.
I created Shared Story Collective to help people make sense of their experiences, have conversations, understand their options, and reconnect with their own agency. Knowledge is power.
Because people deserve more than silence, confusion, and isolation.
They deserve support, clarity, and choice.
— Ally Naylor, Napier, Aotearoa New Zealand
How this site works
Whether you're trying to name what happened, support someone you care about, or build a safer workplace — this site has a path for you. Here's what's inside and who it's for.
If you've experienced it
Whether it happened recently or years ago — you deserve to understand what occurred, what the law says, and what your options are. You don't have to figure this out alone.
If you're supporting someone
You don't need to have all the answers. Understanding what happened, what the law says, and what options exist is the best place to start.
If it's your responsibility
Every disclosure requires a structured response. If you're in HR, management, or on a board — this is your guide to responding correctly, legally, and humanely.
The spectrum
Sexual harassment and assault exist on a spectrum. This framework names each level clearly so that people can navigate what is happening to them, and understand what law may be applicable. By definition in the Crimes Act 1961, S128A — a person consents to sexual activity only if they consent freely and voluntarily. A failure to resist does not constitute consent.
Human Rights Act 1993 · Employment Relations Act 2000
Ambient & environmental
Workplace culture that normalises sexism through jokes, banter, imagery, or language. Often dismissed as harmless but establishes conditions for escalation.
Verbal harassment
Unwanted comments about body, appearance, gender, or sexuality — including remarks framed as compliments. Repeated remarks escalate severity and legal exposure.
Digital & written harassment
Unwanted sexual or suggestive messages or images sent via digital channels. Leaves a traceable record and extends harassment beyond the physical workplace.
Human Rights Act 1993 · Employment Relations Act 2000
Coercive behaviour & misuse of power
Using seniority or authority to create conditions where someone feels unable to refuse sexual attention — even if they went along with it or stayed silent. If a reasonable person would have felt unable to refuse, it is harassment under NZ law.
Stalking & persistent unwanted attention
Repeated unwanted contact, following, or monitoring across workplace and personal life. Causes fear and psychological harm even without physical contact.
Health & Safety at Work Act 2015 · Human Rights Act 1993
Unwanted physical contact
Uninvited touching sexualised in intent or context — hair, shoulders, waist, face, or kissing. Often framed as accidental to create deniability. You do not need to have objected at the time for it to be unwanted. Triggers formal investigation and immediate separation under HASWA 2015.
Crimes Act 1961 · Summary Offences Act 1981 · Reportable to NZ Police
Indecent assault — Crimes Act 1961
Unwanted touching of intimate body parts including over clothing. A criminal offence regardless of what was worn, whether alcohol was involved, or whether the person froze rather than resisted.
Indecent exposure
Exposing genitalia or performing sexual acts without consent.
Sexual violation — Crimes Act 1961 s128
Any penetration without free consent. Includes situations where the person was asleep, unconscious, intoxicated, or unable to say no due to fear or power dynamics. There is no time limit for reporting to NZ Police.
Aggravated sexual violence
Sexual assault with aggravating factors including force, weapons, threats, or targeting a vulnerable person.
Behaviours at any level may constitute grounds for a personal grievance (ERA 2000) or Human Rights Commission complaint. Zone 4 behaviours are reportable to NZ Police. Confirm legal definitions with a qualified NZ lawyer.
A bit of practical advice
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Write it down. In a diary, in a note on your phone, in an email to yourself, whatever works. Include the date, what happened, who was there, and how it made you feel. Tell someone you trust.
You don't need to decide what to do with it right now. But your future self will be grateful you did, if you ever choose to take it further, a contemporaneous record is one of the most powerful things you can have.
🤝
Write that down too. Email it to yourself on the same day: the date, what they told you, their words as best you can recall them.
You never know when that person might need your corroboration. Being a witness matters. Your record of that conversation could make a real difference to someone else's ability to be believed.
For individuals & supporters
When you disclose, your organisation has clear obligations. They must protect you, maintain your confidentiality, and ensure there is no retaliation. If any of those things are not done — you have independent options that exist entirely outside your employer.
These channels can be accessed at any time, with or without a formal internal complaint. You do not need your employer's permission to use any of them.
Your organisation is legally obligated to
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Protect you
Take your disclosure seriously and act on it. Separate you from the alleged person. Ensure your safety at work.
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Keep you confidential
Your disclosure must not be shared beyond those who need to know. Your privacy must be protected throughout.
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Prevent retaliation
You must not be disadvantaged, demoted, dismissed, isolated, or have your conditions changed as a result of disclosing.
If your organisation fails on any of these — the options below exist independently of them.
01
Zone 4 criminal offences
For Zone 4 criminal offences you have the right to report directly to NZ Police at any time. There is no time limit for reporting sexual violation. You can request a sexual violence specialist.
Learn more →02
All zones · Human Rights Act 1993
Free and confidential. Handles sexual harassment complaints in employment. The Commission will attempt mediation first. Complaints should generally be made within 12 months.
Make a complaint →03
All zones · Employment Relations Act 2000
Raise a personal grievance with your employer within 90 days. If unresolved, apply to the ERA. Remedies can include compensation, reinstatement, and reimbursement of lost wages.
Personal grievance guide →04
Zone 3 & above · HASWA 2015
Every employer has a duty to protect workers from harassment and assault. WorkSafe can investigate failures and issue notices or prosecute. You can make a confidential notification.
Notify a concern →05
Protection from retaliation
If you've reported and your employer has retaliated — the Protected Disclosures Act 2022 may protect you. Keep a record of any changes to your employment conditions following disclosure.
Protected disclosures guide →06
All zones · No Police complaint required
ACC covers funded counselling for survivors of sexual violence — regardless of whether you have made a Police complaint. No time limit. Completely confidential from your employer.
ACC sensitive claims →This resource is for general information only. Legal definitions and eligibility criteria vary — if you are considering any of these pathways, seek independent advice from an employment lawyer or contact the relevant organisation directly.
For organisations
A guide for HR professionals, managers, and board members — setting out how an organisation must respond when an employee discloses sexual harassment or assault. Every disclosure requires a structured response.
Any mention by an employee that they feel uncomfortable, are receiving unwanted attention, or have experienced concerning behaviour — whether raised in a meeting, in passing, or in writing — must be treated as a disclosure requiring action. Arrange a private, neutral space to speak with the employee as soon as possible. Same day where possible. Not the manager's office if the manager may be implicated.
Identify the level of behaviour
▼Show the employee the Harassment and Assault Spectrum and ask them to identify the behaviour(s) they have experienced. The level identified determines the urgency, pathway, and rights that apply.
Language to use
"I believe you." · "Thank you for telling me." · "You don't need to have all the details right now." · "We will handle this carefully."
Language to avoid
"Are you sure that's what happened?" · "They didn't mean it that way." · "This could affect your working relationship." · "Have you tried talking to them directly?"
Provide a written summary to the employee on the day or within one working day
Identify the rank of the alleged person
▼The position of the alleged person relative to the employee determines who leads the response and what escalation is required. This step must happen before any conversation with the alleged person.
What good looks like
The moment a senior person is implicated, power is removed from internal channels. The employee never has to navigate a process controlled by someone connected to the person who harmed them.
What poor looks like
The employee's complaint is handled by someone who reports to, socialises with, or is friends with the alleged person. The process is compromised before it begins.
Explain the employee's rights
▼Before any next steps are discussed or decisions made, the employee must be clearly informed of their rights — in plain language, not legal language. Provide this in writing as well as verbally. The employee does not need to decide anything immediately.
What good looks like
The employee leaves the first meeting with a written summary of their rights, clear next steps, a named contact person, and a date for the next check-in. They feel informed, not overwhelmed.
What poor looks like
The employee is told "we'll look into it" with no timeline, no written confirmation, no named contact, and no explanation of what happens next. They leave feeling more alone than before they disclosed.
Response pathway by zone
▼Where behaviour spans multiple zones, the highest zone always applies. Speed matters — delays communicate that the organisation does not take the disclosure seriously.
A note on standing down
Standing down is not a finding of guilt. It is a protective measure. Framing it as such to the alleged person is both accurate and legally sound. The employee who disclosed must never be the one who moves or loses access — the burden must fall on the alleged person.
Document, follow up, and close the loop
▼The investigation outcome is not the end of the organisation's obligations. How an organisation behaves after a disclosure is often what determines whether the employee stays, recovers, or leaves — and whether others feel safe to come forward in future.
What good looks like
The employee feels seen, heard, and protected throughout. The outcome — whatever it is — is communicated clearly. They don't have to wonder what happened. The organisation's culture is measurably better because of how this was handled.
What poor looks like
The investigation concludes. The employee hears nothing. The alleged person returns quietly. The employee's role is subtly restructured. Within six months, the employee who disclosed has left. The pattern continues.
This pathway is a working resource. Legal definitions and obligations should be confirmed with a qualified NZ employment lawyer before adoption as organisational policy. Developed by Ally Naylor, Napier, New Zealand.
Shared stories
Stories shared anonymously, in people's own words. A different version of the same story.
Share as much or as little as you want. Everything except your story is optional.
Write as much or as little as feels right.
Your story will appear as "Anonymous" on the wall.
About this platform
I created Shared Story Collective after going through my own harrowing experience with workplace sexual harassment and assault. I spoke up for two reasons: I was becoming a stepmother to two beautiful girls and didn't want them to experience anything I had. And at the same time I was leaving Xero and saw a pattern of behaviour persisting. So I whistleblew because I thought the Board were the only ones with the power to do something.
Upon reflection, the way my disclosure was handled has been just as harmful. It's taken years of therapy and healing to realise the shame was not mine, and that the systems and people let me down.
I hope you leave this site feeling more informed and more empowered.
Visit allynaylor.com →"People deserve more than silence, confusion, and isolation. They deserve support, clarity, and choice. That's why this exists."
— Ally Naylor
Get in touch
Whether you have a question, want to share your story privately, have feedback on this resource, or simply want to connect — reach out. Every message is read by Ally personally.